Daddy

As a child I remember having imaginary friends and imaginary siblings. I have always been a loner so that's probably why I made up friends of my own. Although I already have four siblings all of them are boys so that's probably why my mind came up with two older sisters. Come my adolescent years I added two more imaginary siblings: a twin sister and an identical twin brother. They were more like alter egos created perhaps to find a stronger self or might simply be because I'm vain and probably thought the world would be a better place if there's more of me. Then there were also quite a few imaginary boyfriends and girlfriends. You might say I was desperate but i prefer to be called a romantic. Now they're more appropriately called imaginary ex-lovers and most of them are still very much hung up on me. hehe

Just recently, there has been a new addition to this imaginary crazy gang of family and friends. I now have an imaginary son! My kid is 3-5 years young and I still haven't given him a name. His mother is an imaginary ex-girlfriend. Most of the time this young boy is quiet but he smiles a lot just like his dad. He giggles and laughs as we would always play and joke around. I would talk to him just about anything, share life lessons and sweet little nothings.

It is just weird. I have been feeling so fatherly. I guess this imaginary kid was created because of frustrations over my relationship with my real dad. Don't get me wrong, I think my dad is really great. He works really hard and provides well for me and my brothers. He has an awesome relationship with my mom, something I truly admire and that I would want to have a relationship as amazing. He is well loved by his family and friends. He is my idol. But no matter how great he is, I still can't avoid having little frustrations with my dad. I just wish that he got to spend more time with me. This might be a plea of a middle child, the left out kid. If only he'd got to spend more time with me when I was younger then perhaps we'd have a better relationship now. I guess I just wished that my dad and I had been more like friends.

He is just so great and I love him that I couldn't complain for anything. I wouldn't complain. That's probably why instead of complaining I created an imaginary kid that seem to have developed from a wanting to perfect what little forgiven failure my dad had with me.