I want to do freewriting ulit. (Click here n here to see what's it all about)
Take 4! Action!
I feel terrible. Please just let me say this. I wanna kill myself. I wanna disappear. That's how I feel right now. I know it's not a good thing to say. But that's how i feel. And it makes me feel more terrible dahil nagagawa kong mag-isip ng mga ganitong bagay. It's terrible!
Gusto ko ibalik ang nakaraan at itama ang mga pagkakamali. But of course di yun pwede!
I've been trying to move on, move forward at kalimutan ang mga nangyari. But sometimes dumarating pa rin ang moments tulad nito. I would get really emotional, at kung anu-ano naiisip.
Gusto ko na sumuko, yun pwede ko gawin yun. Pero syempre di rin naman talaga pwede ganun! Argh!
Naiiyak ako. Naaawa ako sa sarili ko. I feel so helpless. Di ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng lakas ng loob. Ang lungkot.
How I wish somebody would lull me to sleep. I haven't had a good sleep the past few weeks. It's Terrible!! Pagod na ako pero di pa rin makatulog. Na-mimiss ko tuloy ang bad wolf huhuhuhu.
Haaaay. Im actually starting to feel much better writing this stuff.
Tsk Tsk! Promise ko pa naman magiging positive na ako palagi...
12 comments:
sa totoo lang wala akong karapatan mag-offer ng help..
pero ganyan yata talaga.. you live you learn.. life is always a "bad" teacher, it gave the test first and the lesson afterwards..
how cruel is that? or how cool, because school doesn't work that way
okay lang yan.. as for me.. im suspending my judgement of the future.. yung walang what ifs.. pero ang hirap..pero kailangan..
maybe because it is my age.. im starting to mellow..similarly with friend joms..
im also suspending my judgment of myself.. a few days ago i was devastated.. but of course devastation is an exageration.. thus is not true.. i realized i am just plain sad.. and i realized sadness is not part of the plan..
but what i am feeling is part of the choice i made when i jumped into this relationship.. because: its nice to fall in love, it is nice someone falling in love with me, it is nice to be loved and it is a nice thing to be loved..
but whenever you feel sad, admit it, but to judge yourself it is your fault or somebody else fault.. that is a lame excuse..
from the very beginning we made choices of what to do and what should be done.. pero look, when you pray, don't pray something to happen to suit you, ask for courage and wisdom over the choice you made..
and you will always see farther.. have faith..
hi odin, i wanna thank you for taking time to read my blog. mejo nawalan ako ng ganang magsulat kasi pareho ng sitwasyon mo, mejo negative ang mga naisusulat ko. kaya tumigil na muna sandali.hehehe. pero sige lang bro mageget over mo rin yan. just make sure you always have your friends around you. samahan na rin ng konting tagay pero wag lang marami baka lumaki tyan mo.hehehe. marami naman nagmamahal sayo jan kaya wag ka nang malungkot. salamat uli. yngatz yngatz brader!
May sagot ako dyan...
DARK CHOCOLATES!!!
'Wag na yung milk chocolates kasi baka ma-melamine poisoning ka pa hehehe.
Ano beh. BE HAPPY!!! ;P
isipin mo na lang nakalagay ito sa yellow pad.
odin,
huwag ka na emo...smile ka na! sayang ang cuteness mo... hihihi.
lablots,
wanderer!
sagot ko diyan, mahalin ang sarili ng todo todo para di mo kailangan na merong tao ang magsasabi sa iyo niya.
Next time na magkaroon ka ng anxiety attacks, mack mo lang ako sa IM ha?
wow... iba pala ang effect ng free writing sayo. pero ganun tlga. lalabas ang mga deepest emotions kasi hindi ka maxadong nag-iisip kung anong sinusulat mo. hays...
i agree with dabo. life is a "bad" teacher but its really "good" when you look back and you've become a better person :)
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off the record, the voting is now open for the e[kwento]mo: emo writing contest. i almost forgot that i passed an entry—lamentations of a withered tin can. if you liked it, don’t hesitate to drop by this site and vote. voting will proceed until october 17 (friday). there are 15 entries from 15 aspiring emo bloggers. so if you have time, it would be nice if you check us out :)
http://kundiman.net/ekwentomo-entries/
@dabo, laging dasal ko rin na bigyan ako ng courage to do what i need to do. and thanks for reminding me to keep the faith, kasi minsan din kasi nakakalimutan ko at pinanghihinaan ng loob tulad na lang ng nangyari sa post na to.
@dodong, np, i enjoy reading your blog. iwas inom nga ako kasi yun din ang dahilan ng naging problema.
@jake, penge dark chocolates!
@ewik,salamat! im smiling na ^_____^
@tripper, mahal ko sarili ko, kaya nga naaawa ako sa situasyon ko ngayon. at sa mga panahong tulad nito, i feel helpless kaya nalungkot ako dahil di ko naman matakbuhan ang family n friends ko kasi di nala pwd malaman yung secret.and for a really long time eh marami akong mga problems na sarili ko lang at walang masabihan. recently lang naman ako nagkablog at dito ang naging sumbungan at hingahan ng problems.
at kaya ko lang namimiss si bad wolf eh kasi naaalala ko lang na yung mga panahon na sobrang in lab ako sa kanya eh sobrang sarap ng tulog ko noon! eh di ba nga di ako makatulog lately kaya ayun namiss ko tuloy siya hehe
@kuya joms, ur the best! hehe salamat!
@ron, rn, uu nga. growing up i used to learn from the mistakes of my two older brothers, pasaway sila eh. now i have to learn from my own mistakes. hay buhay hehehe
Hey man...think positive all the time! And dont ever, ever think of anything to harm yourself.
Life is already short, you should take the challenge and live life!
Stay happy, stay positive and things around will improve...or better yet, you start it! :)
"Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I am in special need of help, the good deed is usually done by somebody on whom I have no claim."
:)
~kinesics
@kinesics, it scares me to feel this way but trust me i wouldnt want to harm myself that way. things have been tough and i just felt like giving up.
im still very young and marami pa ako gustong gawin at marating. im really trying to be positive, being happy and thankful for simple things.
^__^
marami salamat
Just one of those days. We all go through this. Always remember, you are not alone in sorrow.
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