im really confused right now. i thought when i said "yes" to the bad wolf that....
ugh! im really confused! nay, im discombobulated! (woah! cover your noses! haha) im actually feeling dizzy just trying to figure out how to explain what im going through right now or where to begin.
more than a month ago i had my first bf. when i said "yes" to the bad wolf, my bf, i considered that moment as me coming in to terms to the fact that im gay. for a while i was really happy cause i thought that the long ongoing question of whether im gay or not finally has come to an end. but i was wrong!
now that i have a bf i cant stop thinking about having a girlfriend. although im really hung up on bad wolf, i cant seem to stop fantasizing over girls. i think about boobs and vajayjays so much more than ever before. could i not be gay after all?
to be or not to be still remains to be the question!
am i really gay? aish! what does being gay mean again? or am i actually straight, but just loves having sex with guys once in a while? oh wait, doesn't fooling around with the same sex qualify me as gay? if im gay and im now horny for pussy, does that make me a lesbian? or just a horny fucker? hahaha
argh!!there's really no need to answer these questions. it's just that i cant believe im once again bothering myself with these questions!!!
am i once again really doubting my sexuality or is it my relationship with bad wolf that is in question?
im so clueless! im a fucktard! how did i end up in this mess?! can somebody please smack me in the head! knock some sense in to me!
*image used above is thought you were someone else by ~arc-NiXon on deviantART
13 comments:
PLUs, admitting that they are PLUs doesn't change anything, it is just a plain admission.
The dilemma lies in the fact that after coming out as a gay man/coming to terms as inclined to be gay, most PLUs thought it is all that it takes. I'm out, and finally World Peace! (palakpakan)
Look, you're desire for women, supposedly according to you, will show that you are bisexual. Some true blue gay, would envy of (me? i don't, not a chance). If you are aggressive enough, you can use this advantage for social proofing...in PLU world specially, but not as much on straight women.
The answer is already there my brother but I don't think you are asking the right questions.
Go figure.
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thanks sa pagdaan sa blog ko bro. yup, that is also sweet... pamilyang magkakasama sa pasad.
does it really matter whether in one point you like dick and in some point you want pussy? for me, no.
treat it like in the morning you like to drink coffee and midday you like to eat ice cream. in the evening you may even like a hot coffee with an ice cream float on it. things are sometimes good done alone but sometimes it is better to do them both. our sexuality does not define us as a person. it should not confuse us because in the end of the day we would end up in a single choice or a harmony of two choices.
just live life as "you" define it.
you can lead out a gay lifestyle but still inside you're gay. weh ako minsan attracted din sa mga girls pero true blue gay ako. siguro admiration lang sa mga women dahil only child ako weh, subconciously gusto ko lang silang maging ate(LOL!)
dont make confusion cloud you're best interest.
Haha nagsalita na ang mga experts. I guess your questions were well covered na.
Anyway i want you to ask this question. Suppose you have a gf, what makes you so sure that you won't look for guys anymore.
From time to time may sexuality issues rin ako. Pero yan ang lagi kong tinatanong sa sarili ko, once I'm getting too close to turning into a lesbian. Hehe.
hahaha. this is a complete issue of identity crisis.
my advise, try enjoying what yuou currently have and then everything would just basically follow for you.
whatever or whoever that be.
marami po salamat mga kuya! :)
@davenport, i certainly made that mistake! hahaha
@tripper, ur right! i should just live my life as i define it. how i wish it's as easy as picking out what to eat though!
@blackdarkheart all boys kami magkakapatid kaya siguro nga rin subconciously gusto ko lang rin sila maging ate... "ate pa-touch ng boobsies!" JOKE! hahahaha
@joms, hahaha u just gave me an idea! hahaha now i want to have a gf!!!
@wanderer, tama! i should enjoy what i have!
thank you for the help!!!
So the winds finally brought me here. You are the young Odin my brother Joms talked about. Nice...
Like what Boss Trip said, your sexuality shouldn't or must not define who you are. And like what the experts said, enjoy what you have when you have it. Don't waste your time thinking when you can use it in a much more useful way (like having sex with someone)
anyway, nice to finally see your blog.
i knw the feeling
actually your in a very good situation... you have so many options... hehehe. just joking...
seriously, para sa akin, yuo can define yourself as to what choices you have chosen... on to which path you chose. being gay is not the question, but being true to yourself is the right one. If this path leads to your happiness then you ought to be on that path, pero its not all about personal happiness eh, its what you see yourself on the decisions you have made, and sometimes its not only happiness but also fulfillment and being free of any aadvesaries in your heart... try to spread your wings and youll see, you can fly high... and see what you have become.
(a butterfly)
;)
@tl, hmmm anu naman sinabi ni kuya joms about me??? haha tnx for checkin out my blog! bisita ka lagi ha! :)
@turismoboi, nice to know di ako nag-iisa
@mink, kaya siguro confusing kasi ang dami options, each with its own pros and cons. pink butterfly ba o blue butterfly?? hehe
i assume i am a blue butterfly, with a shade of pink!
maybe you are bi.
whatever that is.. heheheeh
don't worry. you'll soon figure it out.
Semaj
may identity crisis ka ba?
alam mo, nakakarelate ako sa kwento mo. kaya nga lang, mahirap sabihin to sa family ko sa ngayon. para na rin akong nagpakamatay pag ginawa ko iyon. ayoko sila saktan.
oras na lang siguro ang makakapagsabi kung kailan
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